Great Spouse Switch
by FlamingWolf
Summary: What happens when ChiChi and Bulma get tired of Goku and Vegeta... R


The Great Switch  
  
Night Star  
  
  
  
There was a clatter from the kitchen, and ChiChi swore violently as she viewed the scene that was the result of Goku's most recent raid on the kitchen. She pulled her shoulders out of the cupboard as she heard the back door slam, however. She turned to see Bulma mouthing and marching around the kitchen with her hands in the air. "Calm down, Bulma. What is it?" She asked her old friend as the other woman stormed around the room. "I am so sick of Vegeta's attitude and the way he treats me like I'm worthless, just some 'onna' as he puts it! I wish there were some way to civilize him!" "Talk about civilization!" ChiChi said angrily. "Just look at what Goku's done to my kitchen! There is no food anywhere in the house and I came back from shopping an hour ago! Also, there are times when he acts like a complete and total idiot!" "He's not that bad. Sure, he's a little culturally backward, but look at how he was raised!" Bulma said, trying to pacify the woman who finally crawled out of the pantry after a vain hunt for something to cook for dinner. "And all Vegeta needs is someone to roughen him up and teach him some manners forcefully." "I wish there was some way we could switch husbands. You could train Vegeta, and I can get along with Goku." Bulma said wistfully. The women sighed, then sat upright looking at each other with similar expressions. "Do you think we could pull it off?" Bulma asked. "I'm almost sure we could!" ChiChi agreed. The girls smiled wickedly.  
  
* * *  
  
That night, ChiChi started furtively, then calmed when she saw the woman in the capsule car. "Any problems?" She asked. "Well, he turned over and snorted in his sleep when I got up." Bulma said. "Good," ChiChi said, absently, pulling the small metallic object out of her pocket. "Re-capsulize that, will you? This is gonna look suspicious as hell as is!" "Where did you learn that?" Bulma asked as her friend proceeded to pick the lock. ChiChi gave a cynical bark of laughter. "You'd be surprised at what you could learn around my dad's place as a kid. He was the Ox king, and seemed to attract all the wrong sorts. There we go, we're in." She said triumphantly. Together, the two women crept down the hall. "Here!" Bulma said hoarsely, when they entered a certain room. She pulled open a drawer on the filing cabinet, and they set to work. "Son, son, son," ChiChi murmured to herself as she looked. "Ah ha!" She pulled out the certificate and carefully whited out her name. She passed the document to Bulma, who signed it. They repeated the operation on the other form, and ChiChi signed. "Aren't they in for a helluva shock!" Bulma snickered.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Goku woke up to the smell of something burning and swearing from the kitchen. His sleep-fogged mind didn't recognize the voice. 'ChiChi doesn't swear, and she has never burned anything in her life!' He thought groggily, pulling on some clothing and dragging himself downstairs. He stopped short at the sight that met him. "Bulma? What's going on here?" He asked, suddenly wide-awake. "Have some breakfast, and I'll tell you all about it." She said, smiling, and placing some plates on the table. Gohan came in, and sat in his normal place. He looked up at Bulma, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. "This oughtta be a good story." He muttered.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Vegeta rolled over, then sat up quite suddenly, sniffing the air that wafted into his bedroom. 'Did the onna start taking cooking lessons?' He thought, disconcertedly. He pulled on a pair of pants, and clumped downstairs. "It's a nice change to wake up with something besides burning metal reeking the air." He growled in his characteristic manner as he stumped into the room, and stopped dead, mouth hanging open in shock. "I'm glad you like it." ChiChi was smiling sweetly, but there was a frosty tone in her voice that left Vegeta chilled.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
"OK, so you and ChiChi just arbitrarily decided you didn't want to be mated to us anymore?" Goku said, a tad bit angrily. "No, we didn't decide not to be mated to you two, just the two we were married to before." Bulma said, deliberately misunderstanding him. "You know what I meant. You also know that saiyans mate for life. Don't Vegeta and I get any say in this?" "No." Bulma said, scraping the scorch marks out of the pan. Uncharacteristically, sounding more like Vegeta than himself, Goku snarled, "Bulma." "Look, think of it as twice the fun. Two mates." Bulma said suggestively. Goku blushed. "I'm not even gonna ask." Gohan muttered.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
When ChiChi told him the situation, Vegeta exploded, ranting inarticulately for several minutes. When he began to repeat himself and run down, ChiChi calmly suggested a few more swear words he had forgotten. He glared at her, beaten into silence. "What do you want, onna?" He snarled. ChiChi swung out a leg, catching him off balance, sending him sprawling to the floor. She pinned him. Vegeta's mouth dropped open for the second time that morning. This- this- ONNA was stronger than she looked. "First lesson: I have a name. I believe you have heard it before. I am ChiChi, not 'onna'. Understood?" Dumbfounded, Vegeta could only nod. "Second lesson: I will not put up with disrespect. Not from you, not from Muten Roshi, not from anyone. Got it?" Again he nodded. "Good." She said. Calmly, she crawled off of him and stood up, straightening her clothing. "Now," She said sweetly. "Come have your breakfast."  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Life settled down into a pattern in the two houses. To their own amazement, the two men found that they didn't really mind the new arrangements. Bulma may not have been the best of cooks, Goku reflected, but she never yelled, never cared if he wanted to go train, and she NEVER hit him with a frying pan. ChiChi may not have been Vegeta's ideal woman, but she was very strong, a damn fine cook, and their life was never exactly boring. Besides, he got more training in now that he had a mate who would "attack" him, and he got agility practice by dodging the ever present frying pan.  
  
* * *  
  
"See, I told you Goku's not so bad." Bulma said smugly, when she came back to visit ChiChi at her old house. "And Vegeta is fast learning some manners." ChiChi said, in the same tone of voice. The women looked at each other and laughed. However, Bulma sighed. "I do miss him, though. I just can't get used to not being able to get into an argument with someone. Goku's just the kind of man I can't stay mad at." "And I miss Goku's sweetness. Not that life isn't interesting now, but-" ChiChi trailed off somewhat wistfully. "It's only been two months and we allready wish things were back to the way they were, huh." Bulma finished. "Should we switch back?" "Naw, we'd look like we couldn't handle it, and think about what that would do to Vegeta's ego." The women laughed. "However-" Bulma said. "-We could say that it was an experiment and ask the men what they think." ChiChi finished for her. "I think we should."  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
"Isn't this kind of backward? You didn't ask us if we wanted to try this little experiment, but you ask us once it's over if we want to continue." Goku pointed out incredulously. Vegeta sat there lost in his own thoughts. Yes, he had fallen in love with Bulma. Yes, he still did love her. But- -ChiChi, always there, anticipating his wants before he knew he wanted them himself. She was the only female he knew who answered his bad moods with one of her own, who would actually spar with him. Who spent the time trying to teach him and CARED if he was rude or polite. "No." "What?" The other three in the room turned to stare at him incredulously. "I'm not in the habit of repeating myself. Bulma, you can go back to the Capsule Corp. I won't be there." In one quick movement, he was across the room. He tucked ChiChi under an arm, ignoring her struggling to get loose. He walked out of the house, and flew off with her, ignoring the fact that he was living the old cliché of dragging the woman off into the sunset. "Well." Bulma said, as surprised as anyone else. "I'm not calling you 'mom'." Gohan told her. 


End file.
